Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Come On Guys: Game Over

Ken says “If I could go back to the red boxes, the crisis, the excitement of decisions, yes I would, for the one big office that matters in politics."

But only if we ask him nicely.

Andrew Lansley says his daughter wants him to stand: "All her school friends keep telling her I should run. I'm not ruling out standing."

Yes, Andy, and my Dad always reckoned maybe I should be PM, but I never thought that was quite enough backing.

Alan Duncan reckons he'd be a good leader because, like, 'did I mention I'm gay?'

Tim Yeo may give it a whirl because...um...er...no, sorry, I give up.

Meanwhile, the bookies have slashed DD's odds even further to 1/2, equivalent to a 67 per cent probability of success. And it must only be a matter of days before they close their books altogether.

Little David is his closest rival, but his odds have slipped again, and now stand at 7/1, equivalent to a probability of just 12 per cent.

And remember, the bookies are not some overpaid drink-sodden pundit, or even Wat Tyler. They represent the opinion of real folding money.

Look guys, it's over. Stop embarrassing yourselves. More to the point, stop undermining our credibility even further. While you're all posing and preening, our Party is looking more and more ridiculous. Open goals are popping up all around us and we just don't need a Lee Bowyer style punch-up in the middle of the field.

In case you hadn't noticed, Blair's 'heart of Europe' wibble has just gone up in a sheet of flame, and yet we've somehow managed to let him grab our Euro-sceptic mantle. Brilliant.

Gordo's once-vaunted prudence is disintegrating in a familiar socialist orgy of public borrowing. But we're so wrapped up in ourselves, we've barely registered a 'told you so'.

Game over. For Gawd's sake, bang your own heads together, and let's get DD into the saddle SOONEST.


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